distant memories

the last time we ever touched was exactly a year ago today.

super bowl sunday. you had been over at her house, came back because it was snowing or because you were tired or i'm not exactly sure why. we slept next to each other all through the night, cuddled tight. i had been in bowling green all weekend, had talked to mike the whole way home. then you walked in the sliding glass doors and everything seemed to fall on the floor - i was so helpless, so hopeless, so shattered.

i still remember what you told me after that night - that it felt like "everything was normal again." i never thought that that would be the end or that that would be the last time we'd ever touch. i didn't realize that'd be one of the last times i'd ever get to hold my sweet girl close.

cut to the end of the month, the snow, my trying to talk to you about things, your trip to new orleans which made me absolutely furious, the lies, the pain, my eventual acceptance. seeing where i am now - even since the last time we ever had breakfast together together at o'charley's - makes me wonder who in the world that girl was, hanging on to someone who gave so much less than what she deserved.

now a year later, in bed at jill and micah's after spending the night hanging with chris and tiffany for super bowl sunday. i am more centered than i ever have been, happier, and completely alone, which i love. and i just wonder - are you happy? is this what you wanted? are you in a place where you are happy with your choices? i've heard some things recently that would indicate not (though i wish people would refrain from spreading such news). i hope that this life is good to you and that you are healthy and happy and calm.